If
there is one thing my family did well it was fostering relationships between
cousins. Although my experience with my own siblings was strange
and could have been the used as a doctoral thesis for a budding psychiatrist, my
cousin relationship was filled with sweet summer play and was as normal as I
think it should have been. My dad was
one of four kids. His twin sisters each
had four as well. Now we had three in our family, but I was the only one who
went on extended "cousin cations".
Every summer I would take the greyhound bus from Phoenix to Tucson, a
sometimes sketchy two hour ride, and stay for 2 weeks, sometimes 3, depending
on how sick we got of each other. I
would start and end at Aunt Nancy and Uncle Burt's house and spend the middle
of my trip at Aunt Margaret and Uncle Bill's house. This was truly the highlight of my summer. I
could not wait to simply play all day with these wonderful creatures. We fought too, like normal kids do. To disagree,feel sorry, forgive and move on ,
was a completely foreign concept to me. I hope I have instilled this in my own children. At Aunt Nancy's I got to play with "the
boys". Danny, Kevin and
John...there was Colleen too. We would
swim, ride bikes, play at the park across the street for hours.... Colleen and
I would ride the city bus all over Tucson! I watched little boys do little boy
things. My brother locked himself in his room , I was forbidden to enter or
bother him. These boy cousins transfixed
me. They did things like, carefully
tying a string around the body of a cicada and then let the buzzing large black bug zoom around in circles. They
would also put the bugs on Colleen and me and then run away. It was almost like watching a beautiful
story unfold before your eyes. I felt so tickled to be a small part of their
everyday life. I've never felt so safe and free at the same time as I did those
summer days. My uncle Burt, after I'm
certain, was an exhausting day at work, would sit down with a cocktail and be
instantly bombarded with attention seeking children. His tone seemed slightly agitated but he would relent and finally listen
intently to the trials and triumphs of the day.
He would fire back like only a seasoned attorney can do with his own set
of questions. Some seemed appropriate
some seemed to just fuel a bigger discussion.
He wasn't what I would call warm and fuzzy but his care and concern were
and still are very genuine. He was strict
but generous. My Aunt Nancy was and is still everything I strive to be. Her diminutive size was only predicated by
her huge heart, and amazing ability to command her "troops". Gentle disciplinarian , champion for all, and
I mean ALL. She effortlessly was able to
make meals for her crew, volunteer not only herself but all of us to do
philanthropic things, more importantly, she had and still does have a
unshakable faith in God and a fantastic sense of humor. Beyond the love of my own mother, my love for
this woman is unrivaled. Colleen and I
to this day are amazed that she was so trusting. To let us venture off with a
promise to be back by dinner time is so beyond how we hover over our children
monitoring their every move like a carefully played game of chess. I suppose she just had more faith in society
and us to do the right thing.
Aunt Margaret and Uncle Bill's house was another adventure. They had four
girls. So I just fit right in like another.
The girls shared two rooms. Andy
and Sally in one and Tina and Jenny in another. What I remember most about
those summer days were the nights. We
would stay awake for hours it seemed and talk about everything. Boys, friends,
school, family, scary stories. I couldn't imagine better "sisters".
They we're definitely not girlie
girls. Uncle Bill made up for not having
boys by coaching his own team of girls. They were and still are pretty amazing
athletes. Uncle Bill loved to run and
was so thrilled to compete and complete the Boston Marathon. The Polson's are Greek. Which meant being a fly on the wall for some
pretty amazing parties... Belly dancers included. The food was the most amazing part. I can
credit my love for spanakopita to my
Polson clan. We would swim and play all
day, doing crazy jumps and tricks off
the diving board. I felt like I could tell those girls any secret and know it
would be safe. We all live very
different lives now. Spread across the country and raising our own families. Most of us are still in Arizona but I only
see them on rare occasions. I do stalk
them on Facebook, and am delighted to see the next generations of cousins
flourish. As my immediate family has become smaller I am
reminded of how great an impact my extended family has had on who I am as a
mother, wife, friend and even child.
When Hillary Clinton used the African proverb, " it takes a
village" she wasn't kidding. I will
never be able to adequately express the gratitude I have for my cousins, aunts
and uncles for embracing me, treating me
like one of their own, parenting me without reservation.
