I suppose I'm the queen of
compartmentalization. If you need to get
through something I can teach you how to put your emotions in a box, seal them up
and file them away indefinitely. God only
knows what treasures lie buried in my subconscious and God knows no one needs
to know. Scary I'm certain! I find
myself in a very awkward place. Drippy tears eak out at inappropriate times and places.
While watching commercials or looking at my children's photos I am overcome
with uncontrollable emotion. Not good
for the Q of C. I do have a lot to cry
about of late, but haven't really been able to let it all come to the surface.
That is until the news of the very sudden and unfortunate passing of comedian
Robin Williams. Isn't it funny how
someone whom I never met, didn't really know at all, could cause a wave of
uncontrollable grief to be released. I
lost my father in April to heart failure and cancer which seamed to rage in and
deplete him in an instant. Then in late
July I lost my big brother to a drug overdose. I feel like these endings were
an inevitable scene in a very heartbreaking film, but I just am not ready to
say goodbye. To watch the credits scroll
up, with a large part of my life too...The End....it's almost easier to wail
and scream for someone whose life story hasn't amputated my own. I know I will have to open these carefully
closed boxes sooner than later and really deal with my loss, but for now, I will
pause the story.. I'm just not ready to say goodbye.
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