The Fight of My Life

Standing in the middle of the boxing ring..mouth guard in, hands taped, gloves on, oh and it’s pitch black. I’m blindfolded. I can feel the presence of someone or something. Every step forward or back only brings uncertainty. Should I run? I can’t see. What if I stumble? What if I’m pinned against the ropes? There is no time to go over scenarios in my mind.  The air is displaced as who or what moves closer and steps back. The fear is paralyzing.  I hear the swing of a gloved fist, as I move left my jaw is met with a direct blow. I can taste the blood in my mouth.  I put myself here. I stepped into the ring. I placed the blindfold on years ago. Bloodied, battered, bruised but never broken. I may not be declared the winner but I will survive.. head held high and better for it.

Hurricane

I am standing in the eye of the storm. I’ve been here for so long that I feel a false sense of security in the stillness. The hurricane of my circumstances rage all around me but it’s quiet in the eye.  If I don’t reach out too far for help or to try and navigate the pain stinging truths I can simply pretend there is no storm.  I can see a faint light beyond the black swirling torrents. I imagine it’s a place I’d want to be maybe it’s hope maybe a mirage. The place where I hide is getting uncomfortably small. Just standing tall allows the chaos to tear me away from this perceived safety.  I’m screaming but the hurricane is so deafening I’m sure no one can hear my plea to let the storm subside. I have to let go of the fear that immobilizes me and allow myself to weather this. I just wish I knew how.

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Tight Rope Walker

I keep telling myself to just put one foot in front of the other. The high wire is no place for the faint of heart. Here I am, not looking down nor back but head held high looking forward..forward in direction, in intention, in spirit. Never closing my eyes in fear as that would surely cause me to lose my balance and fall. There is no safety net subsequently the height is dizzying. Forward focused, slow measured calculated steps. I’m just a few feet off the perch where I started. It seems like an unending journey to the other side. I will get there, and every single breath is a victory.