Thursday, June 30, 2011

When did I turn into my mother?

I have turned into my mother.  I'm not sure when or how it happened. I don't know if it was a gradual process or if it happened overnight.  But, without a doubt, it has happened!
When I was younger, not that much younger, I felt like I would always relate to the feelings I had when I was a teenager. I was seriously convinced I would always be able to connect with any and all people younger than me.  I would always be "the cool mom".  As my 20 year old daughter plans to leave for Germany and France for three weeks I am facing the reality that I am far from the cool mom.  My stomach is knotted, my mouth is dry.  It is everything I can do not to grab her and say, " Are you sure you want to do this?  Travel alone to a foreign country?  Sit with strangers on an overnight international flight?"  Maybe she should wait to explore the world when she's 30 or 40.  I instead, bite my tongue, and tell her, "You can't wait!  This is it! You may never have this opportunity again.  Carpe Diem! You're brave, you're talented, you're amazingly confident!  Follow your dreams."  All of this is true of course.  So I sit, anxiously waiting for flights to leave and arrive.  Phone calls to be placed and received.  To hear the excitement in her voice, all the while praying she is safe, she will stay safe.  She will hold on to her purse, won't walk down dark alleys won't be taken advantage of......Yes, it is true, I have turned into my mother.   That's not such a bad thing.
 

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