Lee

Acute Heroin intoxication. Those are the indelibly written words on
 my brother Lee Burton's death certificate and on my heart.  One year 
ago today marks the end of his horrible ugly addiction. What it doesn't 
mark is the continued sadness and guilt felt by those left behind. Those
 including myself who turned a blind eye to the symptoms and behaviors 
that were slapping me in the face daily. It took me 9 months to order 
his death certificate with cause of death included. My mother cannot 
enter the apartment attached to her home where she found him. Don't be 
mistaken my brother was a wonderful, loving, caring person who on many 
levels I still admire.Heroin however doesn't care who you are, how 
bright talented and amazing you might be. It can be injected into any 
socioeconomic class. You could say it doesn't discriminate.  Ultimately 
my brother made his own choices but when this black grim reaper gets a 
choke hold on you it chokes your ability to make rational decisions for 
yourself. This is where the guilt has it's staring role. When Lee was in
 its grip I was so incredibly angry at the mess that was his life I 
couldn't see that he was unable to cry for help. This monster literally 
choked the life out of him.  No longer angry I feel so cheated by this 
easy readily available vixen of a drug. I'm not writing to stand on a 
soap box and point fingers at anyone else I'm doing quite the opposite. 
Today I'm pointing the finger at myself for not being brave enough to 
fight for my brothers life. I'm also writing to declare my sense of loss
 for Lee and my love for him. He always stood up for me even if I knew I
 was wrong. He loved unconditionally. 
He didn't judge, anyone ever. I see him in every butterfly. Amazing, 
strong and fragile at the same time.