When I grow up...or, Do I have to grow up?

I am reminded today of how many things there are,  that I still need to learn and do...and of those childish things I refuse to give up.  Today as a colleague celebrated his 39th birthday, I say, knowing many of you are 39ish or younger, "Really, ugh, only 39? I wish!"  I stood and watched the interaction of he and others in our office, and I swear if I squinted a little I could see their true 16 year old personalities.  The awkward laughs, juvenile jokes, which we all think are hilarious, and that ever present need for approval. I am right there too...I know I am "technically"   a grown up, but, if truth were to be told I don't feel grown up at all.  Most of the time I think my kids are more mature than I am, and they would agree wholeheartedly. I can certainly kick into grown up mode when necessary.  When a problem arises or one of my friends or children have an emotional meltdown looming on the horizon I can dress up in my grown up costume and handle the monster problems with the best of them...but, most of the time I catch myself day dreaming of driving with the convertible top down,  singing Eagles songs at the top of my lungs.  When I walk by a mirror or window and catch a glimpse of the pudgy older lady starring back at me I am horrified!  Wow! She looks awful. Glad I'm still young, svelte and beautiful!  We spend so much of our high school and college years wishing to be done and on with our "adult" lives only to be tricked that we are still those gangly, free spirited, goof balls...Who now have to punch a time clock and pay mortgages.  Some days I really wish there was a Neverland, an island of lost boys and Peter Pan leading the charge against the perils of adulthood.  I did, as a child,  have an unhealthy obsession with pixie dust, and am probably alive today because we didn't live in a two story home.

So here I sit, and as I have those haunting memories of my parents embarrassing me to the point of certain death by their  display of very un-adult like behavior.  I have turned into that same un-adult like person.  I think, or rather know, that losing those childlike qualities is not fun, attractive or necessary.  We need to be goofy, day dream, sing at the top of our lungs!  If we forget how to be childlike than how can we appreciate our own children, grandchildren...Here's to giggling, to playing hopscotch, listening to the car radio loud enough to burst your eardrums.  There are plenty of opportunities to don our grown up costumes and tackle the problems de jour.  If I can't feel like a kid, I won't be able to act like a grown up...Just sayin'